Robin Thicke delivers a lackluster breakup album
Hello readers,
Today I am here to talk about breakup albums. It is an
undeniable fact that the best music comes from pain, and I was sincerely hoping
that Paula would be Robin Thicke’s Here My Dear. Unfortunately, it is my sad duty to confirm what
we probably all knew, all along. Robin Thicke is not some sort of musical
genius, he can’t turn his personal misery into a classic album. But we all knew
that, right? Allow me to get personal with you for a moment and take you
through my journey with Paula.
When I first heard that Robin Thicke was releasing a new
album, I didn’t care. I never bought into the whole ‘Blurred Lines’ hype or
fallout, I just thought it was a catchy non-offensive song, but I was wrong.
The lyrics on their own were pretty non-offensive; it takes a great deal of
conjecture and imagination to interpret these rapey
undertones from a lyrical standpoint.
The majority of the controversy should probably have been
focused on the director of the music video itself, who wanted to create a video
that would go viral.
Unfortunately for Thicke’s career, he took the brunt of the criticism. A quick
aside: Justin Timberlake’s ‘Tunnel Vision’ had a far more misogynistic video,
yet he escaped controversy. The reason? Justin Timberlake has far more talent
and personality than the Thickester.
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| ‘Warning: Tits’ |
I wrote all the songs in about
three weeks and we recorded the album in about a month. Obviously all the songs
were about her or about how I feel about her. A lot of songwriters have done
this kind of thing before. They won’t tell you in the title or they’ll be
suggestive … I was just like, ‘There’s no reason to hide who this is about.’ It’s
all about her.
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| Here she is, Paula Patton everyone! |
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| Perhaps I expected too much from you Robin |
It should be noted that without Pharrell Williams, Robin
Thicke would not have become the global sensation that he is today. Without
Pharrell’s disco beat and the aforementioned music video, people wouldn’t know
much about Thicke outside of some Lil Wayne features.
Somehow these two factors combined to give Thicke the biggest
song of 2013
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| 23 Jump Street – coming soon |
It has proved difficult for Thicke to follow up the success
of ‘Blurred Lines’ and his career has been in the toilet ever since the controversy
began. The sexism allegations have offended women all over the world, and he
has done
little to win them over. By my calculations, women make up roughly 50% of
the world’s population, and 80% of his target audience. I’m no publicist, but perhaps
it would be a good idea to try and take accusations of sexism seriously and
possibly issue some sort of apology.
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Women hate him. Paula
hates him. Now, even Wikipedia hates him
|
Paula was released
on 30 June, to tragic first week sales. Over in America, Thicke recorded his
lowest first week since
2007, back when nobody knew who the fuck he was. The ‘Blurred Lines’
controversy was most pronounced;
in Britain and he only managed to sell 530
during the first week. It gets worse. It has been reported that Paula has sold fewer than 50 copies in Australia.
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| Yikes |
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| Don’t be sad Robin |
Robin Thicke should follow the lead of our good friend Chris
Brown. Most people suspect Robin Thicke is a misogynist and a scumbag, but we
all know for a fact that Chris
Brown is some sort of violent sociopath. If we cast our minds back to
2012-13 we might remember that his career was in the shitter after the domestic
violence incident with Rihanna. Then there were the fights with Drake and Frank
Ocean, the time he smashed up the television studio and rehab. It would have
been foolhardy to release a new album during such a turbulent period. Instead,
he waited until everybody had forgotten about him and all the terrible things
he had done. Suddenly, Chris Brown is back in the charts,
he’s got a new album and everything. He did a way better job of destroying his
career than Robin Thicke, look
at him now. He’s back with a vengeance.
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| Perhaps a new look might also help |
I find Paula’s emotionally
naked lyrics make for a compelling album. I feel sympathy towards Robin Thicke;
he takes the entirety of the blame for the disintegration of the relationship. ‘Get
Her Back’ serves as the lead single, it is a public apology to Paula for taking
her for granted and presumably having numerous affairs.
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The video is a bit
weird
|
You might expect all the songs on an album named Paula to be about the aforementioned
Paula, but they aren’t. The track ‘Living in New York City’, is about….living
in New York City. You can’t accuse Robin Thicke of having cryptic song titles.
This is an upbeat disco track about all the wonderful things going on in New
York. It’s a place ‘where the girls are pretty / streets are witty’. This song
highlights the two biggest issues I have with this album: Firstly, the basic
lyrics.
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| Sirens and soldiers? Sounds like a crazy place |
Furthermore, this was supposed to be an album about Robin
Thicke’s wife of nine years. A woman he has known since he was 14 years old. How
difficult was it to write 14 songs about Paula? I appreciate that the album
needs to have some radio-friendly songs, but in this case the majority of them
feel like single anthems. Something Bad’ has Thicke talking about how much of a
bad boy he is, with lyrics such as ‘I’m in pieces of a puzzle if you ever even
finish babe it won’t be worth the muscle’. First of all, that makes no fucking
sense- I don’t understand how someone can be ‘in pieces of a puzzle’. Secondly,
why the fuck does an album about a divorce need a celebratory song about Bad
Boy Robin? If I wanted to hear more about this ridiculous character I would
listen to ‘Blurred Lines’.
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| Helllllllo Laadiesss |
Paula is a poor
album, which I knew as soon as I heard the six
minute opening track ‘You’re My Fantasy’. This is a weird song. The chorus
and production are very sexual, ‘Touch me you’re my fantasy / My body’s yours,
my heart is yours’. The first verse is presumably about how when Robin first
met Paula, he realised he could never be friends with her. The second verse is
about how Paula is a wonderful ‘mother, earner, lady and a star’. ‘I will
always daydream wishing that you were mine / I understand right now you need
some space and time’. So, in two verses, Thicke covers how great Paula is in
bed, how wonderful of a mother she is and finishes off by telling her that he
respects her boundaries during their separation.
While we are on the subject of boundaries, I must address ‘Black
Tar Cloud’. This is the most personal song on the album and deals with an
argument one night between Robin and Paula. The lyrics suggest that this
argument was caused by Thicke’s infidelity and it causes Paula to attempt
suicide. Once again there is a female backing vocalist who backs up what Thicke
says, ‘You were lying in bed (truth) / Said you took twenty pills (truth)’. It
detracts from the seriousness of the incident. Like many of the songs on this
album, it could have been great, but unfortunately is hindered by Thicke’s
limitations as a musician. Also I am fairly sure this is another song that
would not aid Robin Thicke in his attempts to win his wife back.
To conclude, I feel that the subject matter on this album is
fascinating. Thicke displays great amounts of humility and openness throughout
the album, and my view of him as a person has improved as a result. It is a
shame that he lacks the talent to carry such a personal album. Aside from the
subject matter, Paula offers very
little; the production and lyrics are simple and the singing doesn’t impress
either. I am disappointed because I was enthused by the concept behind the
album and genuinely wanted to like it. 3
out of 10.